Caleb to his Maud

O frubjus Dove of delectations delicicent,

Whom this man to blissable puttydom hast meltated,

Be Guilietta to this Alpha Male Romeo

In whose cardioticker hath Cupid’s arrow fixated.

O thornless Rose of loftsome slurptatiousness,

Athenestle me with osculations olifactory.

Unwound me not, so shall I encumbrance thee

With oblations flowerissant and chocolatory.

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Mr Bolligrew’s Song