Caleb to his Maud
O frubjus Dove of delectations delicicent,
Whom this man to blissable puttydom hast meltated,
Be Guilietta to this Alpha Male Romeo
In whose cardioticker hath Cupid’s arrow fixated.
O thornless Rose of loftsome slurptatiousness,
Athenestle me with osculations olifactory.
Unwound me not, so shall I encumbrance thee
With oblations flowerissant and chocolatory.